A moment of Peace; Magic in the Air, 6 Mangoes and Panchita

July 5, 2025

By: Liz Cabrera

Hello all,

At 7:06 PM, I finally got to sit and relax for about 20 minutes before it was time to start the kids’ bedtime routine and the inevitable negotiations about going to sleep.

It’s funny because, despite how challenging parenting can be, it’s one of the most fulfilling things in my life. Through my children, I’ve truly gotten to know and love myself for the first time. It’s an ongoing process, but my desire to equip them with the wisdom and tools they’ll need to navigate the world without falling into snares, distractions, or entrapments always brings my mom’s words to mind. She used to warn me, “pela el ojo” (keep your eye open), ever since I was a little girl, around Elise’s age. It’s taken me a few decades to fully grasp the meaning of her advice.

My point is that to teach my kids how I want them to be, I need to model that behavior myself, not just preach it. With this in mind, I’m sitting here by the fan, with a cold drink next to me, enjoying the peace that comes from reflecting on the day and the experiences my children had. A natural part of our day involved talking with neighbors and playing with their pets. Today, our neighbor generously gave us six mangoes, which are in season! Elise and Iliya dug right in, just as I used to at their age. They played with Panchita, and Elise keeps talking about how Panchita likes her and how much she loves dogs and cats.

Afterward, we went for a leisurely stroll in nature. It felt surreal just sitting under the trees, enjoying the breeze and the greenery, with the kids relaxed, playing on nature’s playground, climbing and swinging from a tree. Iliya participated but quickly resorted to enjoying the outing in his own style, chewing twigs and playing with soil.

Amidst the heat and the constant supervision of two very active and curious kids, I’m trying to cultivate a sense of freedom, autonomy, and independence in them.

This brings me to an imbalance I’ve been pondering, trying to process and make sense of.

Tonight, during the kids’ bedtime routine, which included a shower for Iliya and applying lotion and bug repellent to both him and Elise, I found myself enjoying those peaceful moments of being present and providing care. If I enjoy these moments so much, then why is it so tiresome? I realize it’s due to the imbalance of demands and expectations placed on professional working mothers. You’re expected to perform at the same capacity at work as everyone else who doesn’t face the same challenges at home.

Why are working parents expected to perform at the same rate as non-caregivers? The societal expectation placed on women, particularly mothers, often remains tied to a traditional ideal of unwavering domestic devotion, even as they increasingly participate in the professional workforce. This creates a dual burden. While men are often lauded for simply “helping out” with childcare, women are often implicitly, and sometimes explicitly, held responsible for the entire domestic sphere alongside their professional duties.

There is a deeply ingrained assumption that a mother’s primary role is within the home, a perception that rarely extends to fathers with the same intensity. This disparity manifests in subtle and overt ways, from the lack of adequate parental leave for fathers to the societal judgment faced by mothers who prioritize their careers. This imbalance not only exhausts working mothers but also perpetuates an inequitable system that undervalues the immense contributions of caregivers and fails to acknowledge the demanding realities of modern family life.

Wishing everyone a chill summer.